How to Heal Resentment

Everyone experiences anger and sadness and frustration towards others, but do you relate to feeling resentment? Resentment is something that comes up often therapy, whether it be resentment towards parents, jobs, spouses, friends, situations, etc. The list goes on and on for reasons that people experience resentment. But what is it? The common understanding of resentment is that it is a deep-seated bitterness mixed with anger, disappointment and pain. What is the most interesting thing about resentment is that it can be created by both a real injustice or a perceived injustice. If your brain believes that you have been treated unfairly (whether anyone else may think so) you have all the ingredients for resentment. But how does it affect us? Resentment is one of those emotions that if we allow it to fester it will take over and convince us that have rights that we may not actually have. In sexual addiction, resentment convinces you that you have a right to engage in your addiction.

What is the antidote to addiction? Well, the antidote relies on two things, reality orientation and empathy. Reality orientation just means that you begin to know and understand the reality of the situation surrounding the injustice that has created the resentment. The second piece of overcoming resentment is empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand the emotional experience of another. This helps decrease resentment in the same way that reality orientation does. It allows you to develop a different perspective of the same event or experience. That space of understanding then allows you room to process the anger, hurt, and disappointment surrounding the event. When I speak about it in these terms, it seems relatively simple, however the work the overcome resentment is a deep, emotional, and vulnerable work that people often struggle to do alone. If you are struggling with resentment, you don’t have to do it alone. Schedule a free consultation today.